I'll admit I've been in a little bit of a fog lately. I've got a lot of stuff going on, wedding stress and otherwise. Due to the wedding stress, Rick and me argue a bit, and I am finally weaning my son from nursing- surprisingly, he's taking it well. From that first night on, he's been sleeping through the night- all the way to 8:30 AM!- something he has only done TWICE ever before! Finally, sleep! I do feel guilty, like I'm a bad mom, but he's really doing great with it, and I'm not so impatient and bitchy. I know there will be some that disagree with my decision, and I completely understand, my mother has been a die-hard breastfeeding advocate lactation consultant and Bradley instructor since I was born basically. But I just had to stop, and I'm sticking to my guns this time. I tried to wean him once before, and it only lasted a day, I caved, now we're going on four days.
In non-boob news, I'm also coping with the idea that my Nana, who has always been the matriarch, backbone and everything to our entire family (especially my mom, me and my sisters), most likely has pancreatic cancer. I've completely just been avoiding the reality of this, but realize that in six months-even less- she won't be here. She's 91, and had a very full life, but this isn't the way she should go. I'm sure that everyone who has lost someone to cancer, or any other tragic way, feels the same way. I can't be politically correct, I can barely think. Cancer sucks, and I don't want my Nana to be in pain.
No knitting, just a lot of thinking.
I am so sorry about your grandmother. Cancer does suck. It tragically touched my life this past year, too.
ReplyDeleteAs for your boob news, don't feel bad for a minute over weaning. You feelings toward BFing are just as important as your son's. I have been nursing non-stop for over 4yrs now, and it gets old sometimes. We are trying for one more baby, and I am somewhat scared of the idea of another 3yrs of it. As much as I love it overall, I just want them back to myself sometimes.
Anyway, good luck with the rest of the process.