Last night my Nana (great-grandmother), passed away. I was there with my mom, sister, aunt, and uncle when they took her breathing tube out and watched her take her last breath. It was weird and surreal and still hasn't quite hit yet. That my Nana, the matriarch of the family, is no longer with us. She is the reason I hope there is a heaven, because if anyone deserves to be there, it's her. She did whatever she could for anyone who needed help. She came from a generation that no longer exists, a generation of hard workers and people that gave their all. She raised her two kids, two of her grand kids, and took in many others. She was stubborn as hell, and that's why she accomplished so much in her life. In her last few years, she had Alzheimer's and dementia, and was too scared of falling to walk anymore, so she became wheelchair bound. She made a steady decline mentally, but her body was still healthy. I think we all felt bad about her quality of life; living in a retirement home with people she didn't know, she hated not having her own place. And her memory just declined so much from there. I think depression had a lot to do with that. My family has been mourning her loss, even as she was still alive because of the radical change that happened when her condition really started to take her and leave a living "shell" of a person. So even though I think she is happier now, and really think she is up in heaven, I still miss her and wanted her to stay for my own selfish reasons. But I know that's wrong and that she couldn't be around forever, though she tried! She was 92!
I love you Nana and always will.
